Typical lies:
  • you are a bad boy/girl
  • no  one will believe you
  • your dad will loose his job,
                       if you speak up.
  • other threats
  • intimidation
  • you like it - when we hated it.
  • perps often speak words of shame
  • sometimes they even blamed us
              as part of their lies.

we can revounce these lies.

.perpetrators often "bribed us"

they use lollies or toys to entice

they use cigaretts, alcohol, drugs
   to mask the pain with "pleasue"
they touched body parts they had no
  right to touch
like a thief turning on a cars ignition
to activate the bodies auto pleasure
    confusing us.
"What is this?"

Over time we can process
we can re evaluate

we can learn what childhood
  should have been like.

we can build our self esteem

rebuild our normal defences

and let go of our emergency
  responses in normal life.

( these are all introductory
concepts  - chose one at a time
you can relate to
and work on it)


.Sexual abuse is usually accompanied by cruel words from the perpetrator. (perp)

At the time weather it was because the perp was a person in authority

or a person we previously trusted, or were taught to trust
or weather as kids we were not equiped to question what was said to us
in a situation where we were in some way or multiple ways, traped

the words were like arrows into our mind

words that were lies, deception
some words spoken when we were in pain
or experiencing confused feelings.

I found as part of my recovery there was a time to recall those words
to question those words

I also had to question the conclusions I made as a child.

Then ....
in my adult recovery years there came a time
to plant positive thoughts in my mind.

I wonder if that's why Norman Vincent Peal's Book "The Power of Positive thinking"
and Robert Schuler's book " Posability thinking"
was so polular - because these books undid negative self talk
and instilled positive thoughts.
Jesus Christ said "If you continue in my word, you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"
Truth is the antidote to lies and deceptions.
I found as I read the Bible deceptions were exposed and I renounced the lies I'd been taught.
and I fed my mind with the truth.

Likewise Child Protection Policies  define acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.
it's probably useful for survivors to read these policies to give our residual feelings verbal expression
to facilitate our mind resolving the residual issues.

Let us renounce the lies of the perpetrator/s
  and their accomplaces.

an idea
write out the lies
put in an envelope marked
"return to sender"
then burn it , or shred it.

.At this stage I would perfer to not get involved in the question as to weather to confrunt the alleged abuser:
  1. It's imperative to go to the Police first a confrustation might interfere with legal procedings.
  2. Some survivors have confrunted the alleged abuser face to face only to be abused again, only to be told more lies, to be blamed again.  abusers are devious, cunning evil people.  One would neeed a witness or a facilitator. Some Police or court procedings allow for the survivor to confrunt the abuser but under controlled conditions.( eg court supervision)
  3. If you do need to confrunt the abuser a letter or email  might be the more appropriate
Please - discuss it with your counsellor or lawyer or experienced Pastor or all three first.

A note for Christian survivors - we do not need and should not repent of being abused.

The appropriate response is to renounce the abuse,

  as in disowning it.

likewise it's the abusers shame - give it back.